Recent Event?
Friday, June 28, 2002
hrm......i really don't like to title my posts...
......something is wrong. and it makes me sad.....i feel so....withdrawn i suppose.....an empty shell of myself....i can't stand being on the internet even.....i'd sign off....but it feels even worse to be away from it.....it's my favored route of escape...even though lately i've been reading my summer reading....to absorb myself in that world....to get away from this one....or staring into my posters.....making a whole story to them in my mind....just to get away.....you know, at first i didn't think anything was more wrong than usual....but now that leaf is asking me all the time if something is wrong....it worries me....it worries me that i worry her....makes me sad...makes the shell-like feeling stronger....makes the ever present want...no, need to escape stronger.....thank goddess that i'll be leaving soon....even if it's not for very long....it'll push the desire down...beat it back before it moves over me completely.....heh, everyone who went to school with me last year remembers my really f'ed up plans to try and get away....ah, the idiot that i was....and still am now sometimes.....we won't even go into discussion about sunday....even though it eats me up inside....well anyway....i got my hair done today....and while i was there i finished Boy's Life ....it was pretty good....and over the next few days i want to finish up the other required book...so that while i'm on the plane i can read what i like...but what to choose for the plane....? ....i was thinking maybe some sherri s. tepper...or however you spell her name.....she wrote Grass....and i rather enjoyed it.....so i'd like to read some of her other work....but what to choose for the other two books....? hmm.....oh hell, i know......i'll reread idoru...! i haven't touched it since 6th grade.....when it was in the library....but i'll track down a copy somewhere...i really hope it's at borders...heh,i barely even remember what it was about....*looks it up on amazon*...oh yeah....sci-fi set in japan...heh...dammit though..they changed the cover.....the cover before was so cool.....*sigh*...things change, things change.....not to say that change is bad.....just sometimes....it's so dissapointing......*frown*
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